ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It was a blind-side dick pic.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
