whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
