Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
