YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
