ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You can't just leave with hair like that
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
