It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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