i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
