had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
