hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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