i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
