can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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