I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
