how can u be prego again
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
