you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize