I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
