I can't watch pbs sober anymore
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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