Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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