Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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