I have demons in me.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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