the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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