Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
