Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
porn star boner night. come get it.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
