I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
home. puking in laundry basket.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
