now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
