omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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