White coat. Heels.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
bring money and cleavage
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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