at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
