does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
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