p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
