that's an acceptable place to lick
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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