I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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