i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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