why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
