He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
