They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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