You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
