Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
