they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
