why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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