He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
