A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
