i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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