I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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