No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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