just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
