Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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