Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
