I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
