Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize