apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
