Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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