I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
