During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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