So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
