Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
