I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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