carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
