dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
