I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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