sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
