i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
